Let me share an instance I came across…It was a normal sunny day in Bangalore and traffic on the way to work was as bad as always. And thanks to the Infrastructure development work that has been initiated, the roads are now more like one-ways. Ah… but friend, we have to have a two way traffic going on it. I like the disciplinary test we go through. A huge pile up on a T- junction and more than 100 cars, 75 motor cycles, 30 autos, 5 school vans, 3 trucks and 2 bullock carts are waiting in the BTM junction to get their chance to take the ‘most popular’ right turn. And here comes a white color dazzling BMW. I did not know if I should appreciate the car or get upset about seeing it. Yes, I had atleast 30 cars behind mine and I see this car to my right… zooming to the front. Alas, he had just added a 30 minute more to my journey. I was upset and frustrated at how indiscipline can cause a problem. To my agony, other folks who were following discipline had got converted. They flooded the road in all angles. My 30 minutes had converted to a good 3 hours delay to work.

Now, when I look back… I understand that somewhere we lose rationalizing and behave like others; especially when “that someone” is wrong. Remember that story… one lamb fell into the pit and others continue.

Another one…. I am sure all of us have gone through this. You may say it’s so human… I feel it’s so animal! Mr.A buys a home, soon there will be Mr.B, Mr.C and Mr.D in Mr.A’s life who wanna buy a bigger/better house. Ah, the house is in a posh area, has definitely more amenities like swimming pool, a huge gym with world class machines. Followed by the woofs and poofs about it. However, there is the need to prove that one is better? Mr.L picks up a car and soon there will be Mr.M, Mr.N, Mr.O who think that it was a bad buy and they would have suggested a better car or have a better car and lastly… they want another car!!! Heard of the popular monkey story… If one monkey jumps… the rest continue to jump to prove that they can jump higher.

Now, if we humans were rational creatures and had our independent thinking then why do we fall into animal traps and behave like them. So, did we evolve from animals or do we just have the animal instincts in us? What do you think…

We all know what a financial bank account is.  We make deposits into it and build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when we need.  A relationship bank account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship.  Each one of the many relationships that you have in your life, whether it be family, personal, or professional in nature, are each like a separate checking account at your local bank where you make your deposits and withdrawals. With a financial checking account, you must maintain a positive balance by making deposits and avoid writing checks that exceeds the amount that you have in the account. The same holds true with all the relationships in our lives, but instead of money that we deposit into our account, we make “emotional deposits,” into our relationship bank accounts in the form of actions that build trust and deliver value to that person. Like a checking account, we can also make withdrawals from our relationship accounts in the form of taking actions that cause the other person any amount of pain and if we make too many withdrawals from our relationship account, the other person will eventually close our account with them.

The primary focus in this financial analogy is to make as many high-quality emotional deposits into our most important relationship accounts as possible so that we can build value and trust in those accounts.  Here are few of my simple and age old ways of becoming rich in your RBA –

1. Deposit Acts of Empathy – Example: Actively listening, understanding rather than judging or criticizing, respecting the differences of others, etc.
2. Deposit Acts of Kindness – Example: Making someone else feel important, remembering an important day for the other person, increasing the level of self-esteem in others, giving a co-worker a ride home, help a friend/colleague with a project, cooking dinner for your wife etc.
3. Deposit Acts of Trust –  Example: Being honest, doing what you said you will do, trusting others, keeping up promises etc.
4. Deposit Acts of Loyalty  - Example: Speaking good things about a person when he is not around, being there in times of crisis, etc.
5. Depositing Acts of Unconditional forgiveness and seeking genuine apology – Example:  Taking 100% responsibility for your actions, offering a sincere apology for a mistake, accepting another person’s apology when they offer it and giving them forgiveness.

All of these work like magic… So, why wait… become rich… start working on it…

However, how would you feel if you get gyan from absolutely anyone, at any time, without a reason?  And I feel that this has increased in today’s world.  Well, I wish I have something like a gyan buster at that point.  “Gyan buster” is a term I coined from my favorite childhood cartoon show “ghost buster”.

Now… what am I talking about?  Let me give example of three of my favorite experiences –

Example1:

I happened to attend one great training program at work.  I am someone who gets very moved by power packed presenters.  Post the session, I was telling my good friend, who also shares the same profession on how some trainings show you the gaps and help you reduce them. 

Suddenly, for my shock, I see a stranger joining our conversation.  She looks into my eyes and tells – “You know what, you need to make notes of what gaps you are seeing, and then bla bla… bla …. Bla”.  Obviously, since I did not recognize her, I just smiled and walked away.  My friend did the same.  Now, I was wondering what made her tell that to me… may be because we are same gender, may be because we share the same gated community or may be her need to give gyan. J  Don’t know what… however, I really felt the need for gyan buster J

Example2:

This is something that I observed.   One person was checking on the health of the other person.  I happened to be a part of the group and hence the listening part of the conversation.

ABC – “How are you doing?”

XYZ – “Much better.”

ABC – “Hope you are taking good care.  Weather is bad”

XYZ – “Yes, I went to the doctor.  All is well”

ABC – “You need to take lmn medicine, do some steam, salt water gargling, yoga to retain health, wear sweater… bla bla”

And at the end of this I saw XYZ really frustrated and he somehow got out of this situation.  Now, what’s the need to just go so over board and give gyan?  In many such situations I wish I had a gyan buster toolJ

The final one:

Facebook update by one of my contacts “Here is my 30 minute pudding”  And ofcourse she sounded very excited and happy.  Lot of comments in her timeline sharing her happiness and making her feel good.  Until I came across this one – “Call me once you are free.  I will teach you how to do the same in 10 minutes.  There are better ways of making bla bla”

Pls folks … give it a break!!!

Now, what is Mudras?  It’s an Indian version of acupressure; however much more ancient.  Our rishis and yogis engaged themselves in the pursuit of knowledge and studied the universe.  The calculations done on weather/ movement of planets etc are more accurate even today, although we use the methods defined by our rishis and yogis years ago.  And just like  ayurveda and yoga… mudras is a form of knowledge about our body.

The concept of Mudras is that our universe and our body is made of 5 elements, 5 Pranas and 3 doshas.  Elements like - Akash(space), vayu(air), agni(fire), jal(water) and pritvi(earth); 5 pranas like - prana, udana, samana, apana and vyana; 3 doshas - Vata, Kapha, Pitta.  The healthy life hence a factor of balance of these and imbalance of these could lead to various forms of ailments. 

The mudras are formed as gestures by fingers and hand positions.  The same can be done with meditation and asanas to increase the effect. I have experienced it and I find it amazing…  This has much more concepts of how it works which is mentioned in detail in the book.  The book also has a collection of mudras and the benefits of doing that in the prescribed manner.  If this interests one… do read this book… its amazing!

Motivation to do any work is the key to how a person does that particular work.  And not every work will give you an equivalent output in just one form.  I believe that, if we do a good job, over time, our work will give us returns in exponential value.  Not returns in just one form… however in many more forms like sustainability, rewards, recognition, monetary, respect and the best… learning.

Now, if we are dependent of an exchange scheme like… “What’s in it for me?” for every other thing in life… our motivation levels and learning will be very short-lived.  Moreover, it sometimes leads to a sine wave of satisfaction and dissatisfaction.  Instead I suggest we should change the question to “What does it mean to me?”  This makes our life enriching and simpler as well. 

Now, for example; Your organization has a tough bug to be fixed in 5 days.  Your manager offers the work to you and checks with you if you would want to take it up.  And you are aware, that you have the right skills to take it to closure.

In this case, if you ask – “What’s in it for me?” … your most obvious answer would be –

1. Recognition
2. Some reward in future
3. A chance to demand a promotion

The same case, when the question is changed to “What does it mean to me?”…

1. Sleepless nights for couple of days – Does my health permit
2. A chance to step in and work for my organization’s vision
3. An opportunity to display my skills
4. A new learning experience
5. Job satisfaction – Ability to crack tough bugs

I think the later question works very well in every matter of our life.  And it not only facilitates a right decision, it also helps us be our best at every situation, without really thinking of the material benefits one gets out of it.  Having said that, I am rest assured, the benefits we deserve will definitely come our way.  Sometimes early, sometimes late… but it definitely comes…

However, I think those gloomy days and low moods are now history… You will see me blogging actively from now on.    I am back on my positive sphere of life… and will share my energy in the form of my blogs… various thoughts, some nice pictures and some time pass.

Gundanna came into our lives almost 8 years 10 months back.  He was a cute and naughty puppy.  Well both the factors remain unchanged even after 9 years.  Just that now he is little old…

While I sit back and revisit the old days… It all started with my younger sister threatening to not give her exams.  Yes, she was so much wanting a pet that she threatened my parents with exams.  My strict dad, gave into her blackmail after a steady fight.  We got Gundanna home just one day before her final kannada exam(around April).  My parents only wished that she fared her exams well… and she did .

Gundanna’s coming was more like a kid coming home.  There was so much of joy in the face of everyone.  My mom rang the “jagante” (an instrument used to make a bell sound – usually used to signify good omen.  Folks from Mangalore use it for the daily pooja at home/temple).  I got busy with searching a good name for him.. .. however, the search was completed with my moms suggestion… we named him -”Gundanna”. 

Gundanna did not know how to bark until he was 6 months.  So, right from his potty training to various other manners … mom and I had taken the charge.  Dad and sis did all the pampering which was required after the tough training sessions from us.  And yes, Gundu was very good with Ajji also.  He was such a smart guy, he would never dash into her… even by mistake.  And she gave him a marie biscuit at 11am and 4pm… which none of us got… he was definately special…  Gundanna has been very careful in dealing with kids also. Like he never jumps on anyone lesser than 3 feet…And even if children hit him, he doesn’t react.  Ofcourse, he does some self-defense by barking and scaring them if they hurt him beyond a limit.   He would wait for mom to return from work and watch daily soaps with her.  Whenever, I felt low, I would go and hug him… and he would keep his face on my shoulder and complete the hug.  I have not seen a more smarter pet. 

Happy Birthday Gundu… Wish you many more years of healthy and naughty time…

In this New Year I am upto a promise - a promise to self for a fresh start that can fill every heart with hopes and aspirations. I plan to do something new, something I always wanted to do and never did – Reading more books!  Make a resolution to change myself a little bit… just to see my loved ones smile – Be patient with mom, dad and hubby.  I think I loose my fuse easily after the patience taking work at office.  I shall do my best to not get my office into my home.   Talk some good words that can inspire a friend and help him/her go an extra mile…. This is one thing I have followed ever since I know myself.  However, I hope that Goddess Durga gives me the courage to be good in this world.  Unlearn and re-discover myself this new year…  I am really going to try this and give it my best bet!

This lovely year is ending so soon… However, I wish, the new year is better than 2010.  Hope it helps me realize all the dreams I pursued during 2010.

Have a great new year!

He would usually appear on the dwadashi.  Dwadashi is the 12th day as per Hindu calendar.  The importance of this day to Hindus is high as they break their fast on a dwadashi after a day long fast on Ekadashi(11th day).  As per our believes, it is good to host a guest on a dwadashi and offer food.  However, this special guest of ours would take the food by himself.  And both Hari and I would love to see him eat.  He was a very friendly guy.  Extremely harmless… he was only concerned about food.  Once he gets that, he would just go away…

However, of course we did not invite him to our new home, so he has not come.  I was going through few of his pictures today and really started missing him.  You might want to see him too…  Look at few of his pictures below…

This year, we also had our relatives visiting us and bringing in lots of sweets and savouries they made at home.  And similarly, we hosted a festive dinner…   All in all, the festival season also sets in nice practices of caring, loving and sharing.  This is something I find very unique and nice about most of our customs.  It just gets people together and brings in more joy.

By the by, as I write this blog today, I am already dreaming of the coming saturday(11th Sep 2010).  Ganapati festival is around the corner… Time for modakas and some good celebrations.